One-Minute Melee: Helga Pataki VS Ashley Spinelli
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: What starts out as a normal field trip for fourth graders turns into a violent battle as both the toughest girls in different schools clash with each other! Who will come out on top? Based off ScrewAttack's One-Minute Melees!


DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own Hey Arnold, which belongs to Nickelodeon, or Recess, which belongs to Disney! I also don't own the concept of One Minute Melee, which belongs to ScrewAttack!

Anyway, this is basically going to be my only One-Minute Melee, unless I get another idea, whether it be by request or if I think up another good one, but for now, this is going to be the only One-Minute Melee! Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this!

* * *

 **One-Minute Melee!  
Where research means nothing when you just want to watch two people fight!  
Two fighters! Sixty seconds! And NO research!**

 ** _GO!_**

* * *

 **(The Flower Garden of Hope)**

A nice, peaceful day in the fields were taking place as a bus arrived near the entrance. The doors opened as a fourth grade class was following a teacher outside.

Mr. Simmons smiled as he looked around and took a breath of fresh air. "Ah, I love these field trips, always so relaxing and peaceful."

"Awww, they're so boring, though!" Harold Berman complained as the fourth graders were finished. "Why do we have to be around prissy flowers?"

"Now, Harold, these flowers are very important for a reason." Mr. Simmons said. "They say when you see them grow around, they're basically a sign of peace..."

"In other words, nobody fights?" Helga rolled her eyes. "Lame."

"Come on, Helga, life isn't just about fighting, you know." Arnold said as he walked next to Helga.

"Oh, shut it, Football Head." Helga frowned. "I'm just bored because I'm hoping to make it to Wrestlepalooza."

"Again?" Phoebe's eyes went a little low.

"Hey, you'd be surprised at how big a sport wrestling is!" Helga said.

"Eyes on me, class, thank you." Mr. Simmons called. "Now, if you all just follow me..."

As Mr. Simmons led the class off into the distance, around the same time, another bus had just pulled up. This time, a female teacher came out with her own class of fourth graders as their fourth graders looked a little excited.

"Man, I've been waiting for this field trip for months." Gretchen smiled as she held up a notebook and a pencil. "I've been meaning to take notes of the flower wildlife for months."

"I know, Gretchen, we're all excited!" Miss Grotke smiled as she looked around at everyone. "Now, class, I want you all to cooperate. Just because we're all out of school doesn't mean we're allowed to go around all willy-nilly."

"Yes, Miss Grotke." Everyone said.

Ashley Spinelli groaned as she looked down at the ground. "This is ridiculous! Not only that, but a complete waste of time! Why do we have to look at stupid flowers! Now if it was wrestling, it would be way different!"

"Look, Spinelli, I don't like the trip as much as you do, but just give it a chance, okay?" TJ Detweiler said.

"Besides, the sooner we get through the fields, the faster we can get home." Vince explained.

Spinelli frowned as she kicked a rock with her foot. "Fine... this better be interesting."

"Now, class, just follow me and don't wander off." Miss Grotle said as she led her fourth grade class in the fields.

* * *

Inside the fields, Mr. Simmons was talking with the students about the important part of what types of flowers there were when Helga got a little bored. She hummed as she noticed Arnold. She smirked as she pulled out her straw and wadded paper. She quickly put the paper in her mouth and the straw not too long after as she proceeded to do a spitball right at Arnold's head.

Arnold, annoyed, turned around and said, "Cut it out, Helga."

Helga, holding the straw behind her back, whispered, "What made you think it was me, Football Head?"

"How about the straw behind your back, for one?" Arnold said as most of the class was leaving. Arnold quickly followed the class. "Now come on, Helga, we need to move on."

"Yeah, yeah..." Helga said as she started following. Helga looked around and smirked as she was at the back of the line. She quickly pulled out her notebook and started writing a love poem for Arnold.

 _"Oh my love, how my soul hurts._

 _I know I'm not the sweet girl you see,_

 _But give me a chance, my purest angel,_

 _And you will know who I can be..."_

As Helga was writing, she and her fourth grade class remained unaware that Helga walked in the other direction as the fourth grade class took a left turn. Helga still walked in the other direction as soon as she was done writing her poem. She looked up and yelped. "What the- where is everyone?"

Helga shrugged as she sat down. "Eh, I'm sure they'll notice and come around, looking for me... until then..."

Helga nodded as she sat down near the base of a tree and started writing more poetry.

* * *

Not too far away, near the same area, Miss Grotke had agreed to let the fourth grade class do their own exploring as TJ's group was walking around.

"Wow..." Gus smiled as he looked towards a small violet budding out of the violet garden. "These flowers are really great to look at..."

"Yeah, it's a shame we can't take a few for souvenirs." Mikey said. "I know my mother would love one of these."

"Hmmph." Spinelli frowned as she sighed in boredom. She decided to take her own walk for a while from the group, obviously not wanting to hear any more about flowers. Spinelli then took a path on the right of her to get some quiet.

"Ahhh... I never thought I'd get away from the flower maniacs..." Spinelli sighed. "I swear, if I hear one more thing about flowers, it'll be too soon..."

At exactly the wrong time, Spinelli then overheard somebody.

 _"You are the light that consumes my dark,_

 _As I am the night that wants to be day..."_

"Wait, who is that?" Spinelli said as she turned to see a blonde haired girl wearing a pink dress and a pink bow tie, writing down what seemed to be a poem that she was reciting out loud to herself. "I never seen HER in any class I'M in..."

"Oh Arnold, my soul!" Helga sighed to herself.

"Arnold, your soul? Heh! Cheesy!"

Helga yelped as she looked up to see a black haired girl with pigtails, an orange hockey cap, a red dress with a black jacket-vest, orange and black striped socks and black boots.

Helga growled as she put her notebook away. "You! You didn't hear this!"

"Oh, but I'm afraid I just did." Spinelli smirked. "I mean come on! You are reciting the most cheesiest stuff I have ever heard in my life!"

"Hey!" Helga growled. "For your information, piggy, these poems are an essential part of my life!"

"Piggy?" Spinelli growled. "That does it, monkey! You just met the fate of Ashley Spinelli's hands!"

Spinelli then curled her fists up as Helga laughed. "You really think those things can stop me... you obviously haven't met Helga G. Pataki AND her friends!"

Helga then held up her first fist. "Ol' Betsy..." She then held up her second hand and curled it to a fist. "And the Five Avengers!"

"Heh... looks like this day isn't going to be boring after all!" Spinelli smirked as she held up a fighting stance.

"Bring it, sister!" Helga growled.

 **WHY DO PEOPLE NAME THEIR FISTS?  
FIGHT!**

 **(60 Seconds)**

Spinelli nodded as she used her fist to punch Helga, sending her back a little bit. Helga rubbed her cheek, growling. She then curled up her hands and gave a smirk.

Spinelli smirked as she looked ready to dodge both of Helga's punches. Helga then threw both fists right at Spinelli. Spinelli dodged the first fist, but she didn't quite dodge the second fist.

Spinelli groaned as she rubbed her face in shock. "Man, you are such a hard hitter!"

"Oh, you haven't seen the half of it, piggy!" Helga growled as she jumped up in the air and grabbed Spinelli.

"H-Hey! What are you doing?" Spinelli said in shock as the two went up in the air.

 **(50 Seconds)**

Her question was quickly answered as Spinelli got pounded down into the ground by Helga's hands, sending her to the dirt. Spinelli groaned as her face was starting to bleed a bit...

Helga smirked... until Helga's eyes widened, making her yelp. One of Spinelli's feet managed to kick Helga's behind as she let go of Spinelli, causing her to rub her behind.

"Hey! That's not fair!" Helga called out.

"In this game, life isn't fair!" Spinelli growled as she charged right at Helga, as Helga's eyes went a little small.

 **(40 Seconds)**

Helga dove out of the way just in time as Spinelli jumped and landed her fist right at a field of flowers, causing the petals to fall apart. But the damage around the place the two girls cared less about as Spinelli turned with an angry glare towards Helga.

"Ha ha, looks like your little fists turned out to be dirty!" Helga laughed.

"Oh, you did NOT just say that!" Spinelli growled as she used her leg to sweep Helga down.

Helga yelped as she fell right into the flowers and landed her head, destroying a few flowers in the process. Helga frowned as she shook her head, trying to get the dirt out.

"Okay, piggy, you just crossed the line!" Helga growled as Spinelli rolled up her sleeves.

 **(30 Seconds)**

"You haven't SEEN what I can do, monkey!" Spinelli frowned as she started to raise her feet, intending to kick Helga down again.

However, Helga saw it coming as she rolled around, causing Spinelli to spin around and fall down at her body, destroying yet another field of flowers.

Spinelli frowned as she jumped at Helga, this time catching her by surprise as Spinelli proceeded to punch Helga in the face.

Helga groaned as she tried to push Spinelli off, but to no avail.

 **(20 Seconds)**

Helga then pulled Spinelli's head down and started punching her in the face a couple of times. Spinelli's eyes opened wide as she noticed Helga's fist coming her way. She used her hand to quickly block the fist as she got up.

Helga frowned as she got up as Spinelli rammed right into Helga, knocking her down a bit, but Helga quickly got up as Spinelli gave a smirk.

"Face it, monkey, you're never going to get past me!" Spinelli smirked. "I'm the toughest in my school!"

Helga's eyes flared up as she growled. "Oh really?"

 **(10 Seconds)**

"Well, guess what?" Helga smirked as she held up a fist. "I'm also the toughest in my school..."

Spinelli prepared to get into a stance, looking like she was prepared for whatever Helga was about to do.

"And I can do this!" Helga screamed as she started charging towards Spinelli.

 **(5...)**

Spinelli kept her stance as she looked into Helga's raging eyes.

 **(4...)**

Helga started to raise her fist right at Spinelli's face.

 **(3...)**

Spinelli held out her foot, looking like she was ready to kick Helga...

 **(2...)**

Helga's fist went right to Spinelli, but she dodged it as Helga made a second fist.

 **(1...)**

Spinelli used her feet to try to trip up Helga, but Helga jumped up in time as Spinelli noticed the second fist coming right at her, but she responded too late.

 **KO!**

Helga had managed to punch Spinelli right in the face, as Spinelli slowly stumbled and fell down next to a tree.

Helga laughed as she kicked Spinelli's unconscious body behind a tree. Helga laughed. "Like I said, nobody messes with a Pataki!"

Helga sighed as she pulled out her book. "Oh, but my secret is safe, once again. Imagine the horrors if this harlot were to unleas-"

"Helga?"

Helga froze as she saw Arnold coming in. "Arnold? Uh, I mean, what are you doing here, football head?"

"You weren't with the group, so we came looking for you." Arnold said as he looked around. "What happened to the flowers?"

Helga looked around, noticing the damages to the flowers around the area. "Huh... I never noticed..."

"Anyway... glad to see you're okay, Helga." Arnold said. "But you're just one of the missing kids we were looking for."

"One of the missing kids?" Helga raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Arnold said as he called. "Mr. Simmons, I found Helga!"

A few moments later, Mr. Simmons and the other members of Arnold and Helga's class came over as Mr. Simmons sighed in relief. "Helga, there you are! We were worried about you!"

"So what else is new?" Helga said sarcastically.

"Well, we just need to find the other student in the other fourth grade class, and we're good." Mr. Simmons said.

"Uh... OTHER fourth grade class?" Helga asked, her eyes suddenly widening.

It was then she noticed another group following behind them, among the other fourth graders were Miss Grotke, TJ, Gus, Mikey, Gretchen and Vince.

"Yeah, this is Miss Grotke's class, she teaches the fourth grade in Third Street School." Mr. Simmons said. "They also lost one of their own students."

"Yeah, maybe you seen her come by here?" Miss Grotke said in concern. "Her name is Ashley Spinelli, but she likes to be called by her last name. She has an orange cap, black hair, has a tough personality, but a nice core inside..."

Helga's eyes widened... then smiled nervously. "Uh... no, I don't think I've seen her."

"Are you sure?" Mr. Simmons asked as Arnold raised an eye in suspicion.

"Nah, but if I saw a girl in a red dress, a black jacket vest and weird striped socks, I'll let you be the first to know." Helga smirked.

TJ frowned as he raised an eyebrow, whispering, "How does SHE know what Spinelli's outfit is like?"

"Hmmm..." Vince paused as he examined Helga. "Something's not right..."

"Judging by the way the fields are..." Gretchen said as she looked around. "I'd say Spinelli got into quite a skirmish..."

"Yeah... and I think we know the who..." TJ frowned as he stared suspiciously at Helga, who was talking to Phoebe.

"Helga, you saw that Spinelli girl, didn't you? And you fought her, didn't you? That's why this part of the field's a wreck, isn't it?" Phoebe sighed.

"Phoebe, I'm just going to say yes, and then I'm going to tell you to forget I ever said it." Helga whispered.

Phoebe sighed as she chirped in her adorable voice. "Forgetting..."

Vince frowned as he nodded towards TJ. "Yeah, something DEFINITELY happened between Spinelli and this Helga girl for sure..."

 **This melee's winner is...**

 ** _HELGA PATAKI_**

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And that is it for this One-Minute Melee one-shot! How'd you guys like it! Any criticisms, any good comments? Well, either way, I hope you guys enjoyed it! And if you have any ideas for One-Minute Melees, feel free to leave them in reviews or PM me some ideas! Anyway, thank you all for reading this, have a great day!


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